Forgotten Pain
by schu-chan
Summary: Ran confesses his love to Ken, who seems to readily accept it... except Ran's love reminds him of memories that he'd buried long ago... Ken angst... SORRY!! RxK, YxO... R&R, onegai!
1. Chapter 1

Forgotten Pain

by: schu-chan

disclaimer: WeiB isn't mine... if they were, i wouldn't be broke now, would i?

Dedicated to SAILOR FORTUNE-SAN for the title!

NOTE: i refer to Aya-kun by his real name in this fic (as i always do), so if you don't know it and don't want to know, don't read it...

NOTE2: i don't know much about ken's past, only about the whole j-league thing... do we even ever really find out? i dunno, but if he DOES have a past that i should know about, someone tell me... i just wanna kno - im not going to change this fic or anything... ^__^

_//flashback//_

_~Chapter 1~_

"N-nani? You... you what?"

Ran summoned up the courage once more and he said softly, "I love you, Ken."

Ken stared at him with wide eyes. "I... I understand if you don't love me, I'll just-"

"Iie! I..." Ran watched as a torrent of emotions ran across Ken's face: fear, love, sadness, happiness.

Ken finally smiled at him and threw his arms around him. "I love you too, Ran."

Ran smiled happily and gave Ken a gentle kiss on the lips. Ken blushed happily and Ran deepened the kiss. He slowly reached under Ken's shirt, and Ken's eyes widened.

He shoved Ran away, yelling, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Ken stood there, breathing heavily, staring at Ran with fearful eyes as a torrent of memories washed over him. "Iie... Yamete..."

Ran watched in surprise as Ken grabbed at his brown hair and fell to his knees, mumbling incoherent words. "K-ken?"

_//Ken rode home happily with his father. He loved it when his father picked him up from school because when other students were getting picked up, he knew that they stared at his father a lot. He knew that his father was gorgeous, and he was proud of it. Some of the fathers of the other kids were good-looking, but not drop-dead gorgeous like his dad. Not only was his father good-looking, but he was kind and he had a decent job._

_Ken glanced over at his father, who was currently staring at the road intently. "Ne, 'Tou-san?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Why'd you pick me up today? You usually don't pick me up except on Fridays coz that's the only day you get to end work early!"_

_His father grinned at him, saying, "I have a special day planned for you, my KenKen!"_

_Ken knew that his grin was huge. But he couldn't help it - in all of his 12 years, his father had never done anything like this before for him because he was always busy. They pulled up in front of their house - Ken was curious. What kind of special day could his father have planned for him at **home**???_

_"Go wash and change, Ken."_

_"Hai! What should I wear, 'Tou-san! Are we going out to eat?"_

_His father shook his head, smiling. "Iie. Just wear something comfortable, Ken."_

_Ken nodded, bounding up the stairs, taking them two at a time. There couldn't possibly be something THAT interesting to do at home... He shrugged, just glad that his father had planned something for him._

_~*~*~*~*~*_

_Ken came down to the living room, and heard his father calling from the kitchen. "Ken, go into the dining room!"_

_Ken walked to the dining room, and grinned. His father had attempted to cook. Ouch._

_He reached out to take a taste of the pasta and let out a yelp when his father hit his hand away. Ken grinned sheepishly at his dad and sat down in his seat._

_Ken stared dumbly at the glass of wine his father handed him. "Eh?"_

_His father laughed. "What... you forgot that it's your birthday?"_

_"Eeeh?"_

_Ken turned and looked at the calendar that hung on the wall. "I totally forgot, 'Tou-san!"_

_His father grinned. "Well, I remembered, and for your birthday, you get your first taste of wine."_

_Ken took a sip and made a face. "It tastes bad, 'Tou-san!"_

_"You have to develop a taste for it, Ken. Drink it a little bit." Ken pouted and drank some more. He had always hoped that wine would taste good from the way his father and all of his business associates were constantly talking about it._

_They ate the pasta, talking about Ken's school life. "Yea, and this huge kid, Munakata-kun, kicked the ball at me and I dropped to the ground! When I looked up, it'd made a hole in the net... I lost ten years of my life right there!"_

_Ken's father laughed, saying, "You could have at least tried, you know?"_

_"Riiight, and come back home with broken ribs, right?"_

_His father laughed again._

_~*~*~*~*~*_

_"Arigatou, 'Tou-san." Ken gave his father a tight hug, tossing the soccer ball onto the couch. His father hugged him back, and suddenly flipped him onto the couch, shoving the soccer ball to the ground._

_"'T-tou-san?"_

_"Sh... don't be afraid..."_

_Ken stared up at his father with fear in his eyes. What... what was his father going to do...? His eyes widened in shock when his father kissed his lips.//_

Ken let out a heartbroken sob. "Iie... I didn't want that... Dooshite...?"

"Ken?" Ran was surprised to see Ken in such a state. Ken looked up in surprise, as though he had just noticed Ran standing there.

"R-ran...?"

"Ken, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Iie... It's nothing... There's... there's nothing wrong..." Ken stumbled towards his bed, saying, "I'll... I'll see you tomorrow..."

Ran stared at Ken, who climbed into the bed and lay there, trembling. He turned and walked out, not noticing Yohji and Omi, who had fallen over each other in an attempt to get away from the door.

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken came down the stairs and ignored the stares he received from Yohji, Omi and Ran. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair messy and his clothes were on crookedly.

"K-ken-kun?" Ken turned around and attempted to smile at him. "Hai?"

"Is... is something wrong?"

Ken's eyes grew blank.

_//"Iie! Yamete, 'Tou-san!"_

_Ken screamed for his father to stop, trying to undo the binds that tied him to the bed. Tears ran down his cheeks and he tried to pull his hands from the rope that was rubbing his wrists raw.//_

Ken shook his head, saying, "I'm fine, Omi."

*Three years... It took me three years to forget! Why did I have to remember now?!* He sighed and dumped himself into a chair.

"Ken...?" Ken looked up at Ran, saying, "Aah... Ran. Gomen-ne... I... I kind of lost myself yesterday night... Honto-ni, gomen."

Ran shook his head, saying, "Iie. Daijoubu. Ken... you know that if you have any problems, you can come talk to us, ne?"

Ken nodded. "Arigatou."

Ran sighed as Ken got up and left.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Ken-kun? Neee, Ken-kuuun! I asked you if this red rose reminded you of me!" Ken looked up in surprise. When had this girl gotten here?

"Hai, ojou-san." The girl huffed and bought the bouquet of roses and left. "Eh?"

Ken stood there, staring at the door. "Did I say something wrong?"

Omi shook his head and exchanged looks with Yohji. Ken was the _only_ person who bothered to pay _some_ attention to the girls in the store so that they wouldn't be offended by Ran's glares and Omi's and Yohji's harsh looks.

"Ne, Ken-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Can you put these candles in the window casing?"

Ken stared at the candles Omi held out to him.

_//"I-ite!" Ken tossed his head back and forth, pained cries escaping his throat as his father slowly poured hot wax on his body.//_

Ken closed his eyes and leaned against the counter, holding himself up with one hand. "Ken-kun?"

Ken hit Omi's hand away, which had been reaching out to touch him. Omi stared into Ken's frightened brown eyes. "Ken-kun?"

"I-ie... Don't touch me..."

"Ken-kun, it's okay. It's just me, Omi..." Omi reached out again to touch him. "Iie! Don't hurt me!"

Ken ran to the the other side of the counter and sat down, whimpering. "Don't touch me..."

TBC...

what'd you think? ok? too weird? too sick? wow... i wrote a little bit of angst... i can't believe it...

and i wrote a WeiB fic that's not BradxKen... that in itself is amazing...

REVIEW ONEGAI! ^.~


	2. Chapter 2

Forgotten Pain

by: schu-chan

disclaimer: WeiB isn't mine... if they were, i wouldn't be broke now, would i?

**Dedicated to SAILOR FORTUNE-SAN for the title!**

NOTE: i refer to Aya-kun by his real name in this fic (as i always do), so if you don't know it and don't want to know, don't read it...

NOTE2: i don't know much about ken's past, only about the whole j-league thing... do we even ever really find out? i dunno, but if he DOES have a past that i should know about, someone tell me... i just wanna kno - im not going to change this fic or anything... ^__^

Thanks for the reviews, minna-san! I hope you like this chapter, too!

*thoughts*

_//flashback//_

_~Chapter 2~_

They stared at Ken, who sat there with his head in his hands. "Ken... what's wrong?"

Ken lifted his head and stared at the blurry figure before him. "'Tou-san...?"

A look of fear swept his face and he sat there, trembling. "Ken, it's me! Yohji!"

Yohji shook him, saying, "Snap out of it! What's wrong - tell us!"

"Yoh... ji?"

"Yea, it's me! Best friend, player, lazy-ass!" Ken threw his arms around Yohji, mumbling, "Don't let 'Tou-san hurt me, Yotan... Onegai... Taskete..."

"Save... you from your father...? What are you saying?"

The store was silent except for the sounds of Ken's sobs. Ran picked him up, telling the others to watch the shop. Ran hurried upstairs and tucked him into bed. Ran stood up to leave him alone.

"Ran, stay."

Ran turned and stared at Ken, who gave him a small smile. "I... I feel better if you're around."

"But yesterday, you -"

Ken shook his head, saying, "Iie... Yesterday... was just... it won't happen again, not with you..."

Ran nodded and pulled up a chair next to the bed. "Rest, Ken... you can talk to us tomorrow."

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken stared up at the dark ceiling.

_//Ken stared at the ceiling and his father held him in his arms. "Ken... it's all right... stop crying..."_

_Ken was confused. He... was crying? He reached up and touched his face. It was wet. No... it couldn't be him. He'd told himself that he wouldn't cry again the next time his father did this. Ken turned his body away from his father and closed his eyes._

_"Ken...?" His father reached out to touch him and he flinched. "O-onegai, 'Tou-san... Don't... don't touch me..."_

_His father smoothed his hair. "Oyasumi, Ken."_

_"Oyasumi-nasai..."_

_~*~*~*~*~*_

_"Ne, KenKen never seems excited about anything anymore!" Ken's classmates nodded worriedly._

_"Ken used to laugh all the time and now, he just looks tired. Do you think something's wrong?"_

_"Maybe... do you think we should try asking his dad? Maybe it's got something to do with his family?"_

_Just then, Ken entered the classroom, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Ohayo, Ken!"_

_"Ohayo, KenKen!"_

_Ken gave them all small smiles before sitting in his seat. *I... I can't look them in the eyes anymore... I...*_

_Everyone stared as Ken suddenly ran out of the room. "Ken! What's wrong?!"_

_"Where are you going? Class is starting in a couple minutes, Ken!"_

_Ken found himself in the abandoned music room. Maybe this place would give him some sanctuary... He threw his bag down onto the floor and put his head on it, using it as a pillow. He stared at the worn ceiling, so different from the ceiling at home. And he smiled.//_

Ken looked down at Ran, who was slumped over the bed, asleep. Ken smiled slightly. Maybe... with Ran's help, he might gradually forget instead of just covering his memories with dust. Ran stirred.

"Ken...? You awake...?"

Ken pretended to be asleep and Ran smiled. He smoothed Ken's hair, saying, "You're so beautiful when you're asleep... do you know that, Ken? Sigh... what's wrong, Ken... what happened to you?"

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken sat in the den, fidgeting under the scrutiny of his teammates. "Ken-kun, you have to tell us. Otherwise, we can't help you. You might get hysterical again."

Ken nodded and took a deep breath. Ran gave him a reassuring smile, earning him shocked looks from both Yohji and Omi.

*Time for you to tell them, Ken...*

TBC...

I wrote this at 12 in the morning, people... most of it anyways. I know it's not very long, but... review, onegai! ^__^


	3. Chapter 3

Forgotten Pain

by: schu-chan

disclaimer: WeiB isn't mine... if they were, i wouldn't be broke now, would i?

**Dedicated to SAILOR FORTUNE-SAN for the title!**

NOTE: i refer to Aya-kun by his real name in this fic (as i always do), so if you don't know it and don't want to know, don't read it...

NOTE2: i don't know much about ken's past, only about the whole j-league thing... do we even ever really find out? i dunno, but if he DOES have a past that i should know about, someone tell me... i just wanna kno - im not going to change this fic or anything... ^__^

NOTE3: this might be a little depressing... and i noticed from previous reviews that this brought up some bad memories, kinda, i guess, ne? gomen-nasai!

REVIEW onegai... i felt sad at last chapter.... T.T

i hope you like this chapter! i think it's gonna be full of crappy sap... enjoy! ^__^

*thoughts*

_//flashback//_

_~Chapter 3~_

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken sat in the den, fidgeting under the scrutiny of his teammates. "Ken-kun, you have to tell us. Otherwise, we can't help you. You might get hysterical again."

Ken nodded and took a deep breath. Ran gave Ken a reassuring smile, earning him shocked looks from both Yohji and Omi.

*Time for you to tell them, Ken...* He took a deep breath. "When.... when I turned thirteen..." He paused. Yohji, Omi and Ran looked at him expectantly.

"On my thirteenth birthday, my dad picked me up from school... he had work usually, so I was always happy when he did so... I forgot totally that it was my birthday. He made me a nice dinner... let me taste wine... gave me a nice birthday gift...but... he also..."

Ken bit his lower lip, staring at the floor. "Ken?"

Ken took in a deep breath and pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He closed his eyes, putting his head in his arms.

Omi sat next to him, putting his arms around him. "Ken-kun... you don't have to tell us right now... you don't even need to tell us all at once... why don't you start by just telling Ran-kun?"

Ken gave Omi an appreciative smile but shook his head. "Iie... I trust all of you... I can do this..."

Omi nodded and Ken took in a deep breath. "My... father... he..."

Ken sighed, and he said softly, "He raped me..."

Ran and Yohji tilted their heads. They hadn't heard it because Ken had spoken too softly. Omi's eyes widened in shock and he threw his arms around Ken tightly. Omi looked up at Ran and Yohji, who looked at him quizzically. He indicated that he would tell them later.

"I... I never told anyone... It took me years to try to forget but... but... I hadn't forgotten; It'd just stayed buried in my memories... And it resurfaced when Ran and I were kissing... I... I don't know if I'll ever lose the fear of having sex with a guy..."

"Ken-kun, don't worry about that. Just focus on yourself... Ran-kun'll understand... Come on, let's get you to bed... I'll talk to Yohji-kun and Ran-kun."

Ken nodded.

~*~*~*~*~*

Yohji and Ran stared at Omi in shock. "Are... are you _joking_, Omi? This isn't something to joke about, you know!"

Omi glared at Yohji. "Yohji-kun! Do you REALLY think that I'd JOKE about something like THIS?! I'm serious! How could you think that I'd..."

Omi started crying. "Poor Ken-kun..."

"It's... because of me. I kissed him... that's what made him remember..."

Omi nodded. Ran sat down on the sofa, sighing. *You idiot! Why'd you have to take things so fast?!*

"Ran, it's not your fault." Ran looked up at Yohji with eyes full of pain. Yohji sighed and he sat down next to Ran. "Come on, Ran. You're smarter than that - if it's anyone's fault, it's Ken's dad's fault..."

"But... he wouldn't have resurfaced those memories if it wasn't for me..."

Yohji sighed again. "Oi, you're making me feel old, Ran. Just shut up and go up there to be supportive - don't let him know that you think it's your fault, Ran, he'll just feel bad about it."

~*~*~*~*~*

Ran silently stared at the sleeping figure. He gently touched Ken's cheek, frowning when Ken whimpered in his sleep. Ken's eyes suddenly opened and he turned to face the person touching him. Ken reached out, crying silently.

"Ran..."

"Yea, Ken?"

"Will... can you wait? I love you... And I'm thinking that you don't hate me, since you're here... But... it'll be a while before I can be physical with you, Ran..."

Ran gave him a soft smile. "I don't care if you ever have sex with me, Ken.... I just want you to love me the way I love you..."

"Thanks, Ran..." Ran grinned and gave him a smile. Ken stared at Ran... He'd never seen Ran... well.... he'd never seen Ran _grin_. "Is there something on my face?"

Ken blushed. "I-ie... I... I just... I've never seen you smile like that before..."

Ran gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Only you'll ever see me smile like that, Ken..."

Ken smiled. Ran leaned over to give him a hug but stopped when he saw Ken stiffen. Ran sighed and stood up.

"I'll go get some tea for you, Ken."

Ken nodded silently. *Baka... you _know _he wasn't going to do anything...*

*But I'm scared!*

*What're you so scared of?!*

*But, but...*

Ran was at the door when he saw Ken break down and cry. He turned and walked away, his heart telling him to go over there and comfort Ken while his head muttered that Ken'd only push him away...

TBC...

eh. R&R, onegai! and go read my other fics and review those, too! ^__^

AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE HAVING BAD MEMORIES AND STUFFS B/C OF THIS.... T.T


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